whoa

My My My it has been a very long time! nothing has really changed and I haven't really been doing anything but working.....yea it's a shame...still letting my creativity slip through my hands...I dunno why I'm lacking motivation. I really have no excuse and I really need to start using and improving on my talent. I don't want to be that person that lost what they loved to do. That made me just think "lost what they loved to do". WHY AM I NOT DOING WHAT I LOVE TO DO? No wonder I'm so miserable...smh..What happened to that passion I had to be so good at what I did it would be scary? What happened? Where did I lose it? Maybe not being able to finish college did it. I don't know. I can remember when I drew EVERYDAY without fail. If I didn't have a pencil and paper it didn't feel right....Wow maybe I'm scared of failure, when failure is nothing but something to be learned from. I let so many months pass by...what a waste..ugh...
Kanye's album mutha-effing awesome! The film for the album mutha-effing awesome!
Lost my train of thought.....um...I dunno I can't remember what I really wanted to say. Most of my days consist of playing xbox, working, cleaning, trying to cook(doesn't really work), and sleeping. Work sucks could be better but could be worse I just hate waking up at 4 in the morning but what can you do you need money in this world to even breathe now-a-days.
Maybe I should promise myself to make something before this week lets out I have another geisha idea that I would like to do.......so maybe I will...no promises though....I really want to make a gir plushie too..I also wanna draw Drake have a wierd obesession with him right now...it's bad..I would like to draw Nicki too maybe...
I need to start moving my a** ya'll and if you don't see me doing it I give you permission to kick me in it. I am so dumb I am really dumb for real *antoine dodson voice* and if you feel like you haven't been trying to achieve goals you have join me and start. Cliche yes but this life passes too fast to sit on yo a**.
Alright I'm going to bed now all that thinking made me hungry and tired lmao